ZULEIKHA

 

20 things about... Zuleikha

 

What touches us and forms us is sometimes a mystery with scents of both painful darkness and blissful light

 

Writing and moving inwards is my way to go deeper into healing wounds of the soul, remembering who I am and finding the sacred path that leads me home.

 

Who am I ?

 

All that really is important is found in my poetry, but as I enjoy writing I find pleasure in sharing something called Talking story - 20 things about.

 

 

One of my Friends, Katie Davis introduced me to this way of sharing.

 

On Maui,she says, we call it "talking story. When there is a genuine interest in knowing more about the story of someone, you write 25 random things about yourself - it could be a tiny random detail or something that totally changed your life. And this you share as an opening to the other, to maybe... do the same

 

Katie challanged me and here is what I wrote...

 

 

 

1. When i was very small my comfort was a soft yellow quilt with roses on, on one side it was silkysoft and on the other, cottonsoft. I loved it very much and I can still feel it touching my skin. I was in a warm loving pink cloud and nothing could hurt me. Then something happened, and when I woke up my world crashed...It has taken me many years to see this, to support and love this inner child,to heal and now; to understand what really happened on a deeper level. And how ever strange it may sound I, today have come to see the deeper gift that I then was given beyond this trauma.

 

2. When I was small I had a goat called Klara , she followed me around wherever I went , even to the store in our little village. My father used to put bicyclebags on her back and we walked through the old woods to the villagestore and Klara carried our food home... thinking about that makes me feel as if I was born in another century...and I just realize...I am

 

3.One of my earliest memories of "mental pictures" was seeing myself as seethrough and in this empty space that was my body I saw something that looked like a brownish piece of sugar floating in the air- and I remember thinking - This is who I really am. All my real knowledge compressed, all that I need to know, all that I am is in this ... as a seed of all there is. I was a little puzzled that it looked like a piece of brown sugar it felt a bit boring...but the essence of it all has followed me through the years ...It is this very core that can never be destroyed...and from where all the divine truth and beauty comes and goes...

 

4.At 16 I left home against my parents will and moved 200 km away to live in an attic where I wrote poetry.I was more fond of writing poetry and listening to Leonard Cohen than go to school. So I ended up publishing a book of poetry ... it is now 30 years ago. Time to publish again...

 

5. The film "Le ballon rouge" made a great impact on me when I was eight years old. It still does. I identified deeply with the boy in the film. If you havent seen it , do so... It is a 32 min long french film from 1956 by Albert Lamorisse...

 

6.Creating rituals and ceremonies are deeply important to me. By opening up for rituals that wants to take place at different scenes in life - in order to heal I find myself being moved by life itself.Beyond the beyond. It is utter beauty.

 

7. In the woods of Bergslagen me and my two daughters have have had our paradise for many years. An old white stonehouse and a wild garden. A couple of years ago I had to sell it, but the blessings it gave us will stay in our hearts forever.

 

8.Beautiful secrets are like shimmering stars, you dont know exactly what they contain but they spread sacred light when held by the universe where they where born. I love my beautiful secrets. They are loveseeds.

 

9. I used to attract abusive men until I realized that it was connected to my lack of selflove.Then it started to shift. I am so grateful for this journey...

 

10. As a teenager my idol was St. Fransiskus of Assissi.When I moved away from my parents I wanted to live like him so I sold allmost everything I had, including most of my clothes. I lived very spartan and my wish was to give Divine love to everyone. I forgot to give it to myself though....

 

11. When I was 13 years old I regarded an "old" ( in her sixties) lady called Vera to be my best friend. She was special , a philosopher, a poet and a "freethinker" and she treated me as an equal and that was totally new to me. I sometimes spent weekends with her in her little bohemian flat, listening to jazz , cooking exotic food and reading poems.

 

12. I have always had a special love for soapbubbles and oldfashioned helium ballons

 

13. The rainbowlight was especially important to me when I was between 20 -30 - It appeared as a sign in important situtions, for example when I was to find myself my first apartment , on the kitchenfloor the rainbowlight was moving , that made me make up my mind ...

 

14. Breathing through pain, allowing it to move through me without resistence or attachment has been my way of resolving and heal , I realized it is only energy that passes through...as long as you do not cling to it.... two times nine months I layed in my bed letting this suffering through...people around me where really worried...And I was Watching my thoughts and my emotions feeling it all ...as if I was an empty shell where all this pain floaded through...Like a long long birth , contraction followed by contraction... Lao Tse said: it is not your pain....

 

15.I always try do things I long to do - but dont dare. By time I have become brave...I find it is still very challenging to move through my fears... and very rewording.

 

16. As a child I "collected" voices, I had a book where I wrote them down, people who had voices that made me feel safe and in a good space. For exampel the swedish actors HÃ¥kan Serner, Allan Edwall & Inga Sarri...

 

There voices where my" secret guardian angels "...

 

17. I feel very very blessed, life is constantly showing me the way and when I really listen ...then its very very good. And when I dont it is also good, life doesnt give up that easily on me...

 

18.Falling into deep stillness I find every detail is vitaly important and....at the same time nothing really mathers...I am already complete, we are alreday complete, there is no real way to go wrong...

 

19. I am the beloved - and so are you. An echo of the Divine. The Divine.

 

20.I have a longing to move to our little cottage in the woods, in the summer i often spend weeks there totally on my own and I adore every step I take there. It is such a blessing.